Is your love life dull and boring? Have you neglected it over the years you have been together? It is NEVER too late to do something about it.
Do you feel that your new ideas may be rejected or do you think your lover too prudish to join in with you? Here are some top tips to help you get back on track:
Sex toys can be introduced. They are great fun. Start with small and unobtrusive or ones that double up as a massager. Try them all over the body to see which areas appeal most. Only once you have experimented can you go on to the more adventurous toys. We know that sex toys, if introduced carefully will definitely improve any relationship.
So how do you introduce them without the risk of rejection?
- If you want to introduce something new to your repertoire CHOOSE your moment carefully. Find a moment when you and your lover are relaxed and enjoying each other's company to suggest making your love life even better. Maybe this is over a glass of wine, or maybe you have just shared a joke or warm moment. Don’t try to introduce new ideas when one of you is tired or stressed after a hard day at work.
- INVOLVE your partner in the search for new ideas. If you are worried about the reaction say that a friend, or you read about something in the paper or the sex therapist on TV said "this might be a good idea". Ask your partner what they think. Mention this article.
- ASK your partner what they would like if they could have anything, you may be surprised at their reply. It may involve a fantasy and sex toys can help create a scene or “be” other people. I heard the other day that a friend “had sex with three men in one night”.. When I asked her what she meant she said “Well I he gave me my first orgasm with one of my toys, then the second with my husband himself and then the third with another toy.”
- ACT OUT FANTASY you may have an idea or your partner may have an idea but is too shy or embarrassed to talk about it. ENCOURAGE dialogue about your fantasy. Write it down and share notes if you find this difficult. You may fancy being tied up or dominated - suggest it your partner may be keen to try new things too! Note: any fantasy that is not acceptable to your partner is definitely off the menu.
- CHANGE your bedroom into a haven of naughtiness. Normally it's a place for sleep now change it into a secret den of lust. Surprise your partner with candles, scent, or a luxury cover over the bed. Make it warm and inviting. Taking your partner to the bedroom at different times of the day or evening will be a novel experience. If you have already set the scene beforehand, so much the better. This bedtime should be a time for EXPLORING new ideas. Decide together when you are most likely to be receptive to sex and try to accommodate each other’s needs.
- ESTABLISH common ground with each other, leave out what is not acceptable and work on what is. Above all a sense of HUMOUR is an essential ingredient for a successful relationship. Your partner will welcome change if you can laugh about it. They will welcome the element of surprise and routine boring sex will become a thing of the past.
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