Mary’s top 5 tips to ensure you get the spark back or keep it.
- Decide that you will have at least one evening a week which is your couple time TO THE EXCLUSION OF EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE ELSE. Take the phone off the hook, kids babysat elsewhere, mobile turned off. Pets securely confined and windows closed. We don’t want the neighbours to get jealous do we? The idea behind this is so that this “appointment” is one that has to be kept. It will be on the calendar and in your diary – severe penalties will ensue for either partner breaking the appointment for what ever reason. There are to be no obstacles to making this time.
- The appointment does not have to be for sex because you can never tell what type of day either of you will have, however the anticipation of an evening together is the important thing – create anticipation by sending and leaving messages for each other. Text and email and little notes on the pillow, steering wheel of the car, in her purse, in his pocket.
- Communicate feelings to each other. Sit in front of each other in a warm and comfortable room with no outside distractions. Play “I love you because….” games. Take it in turns to show how much you appreciate each other and really mean it. Include lots of touching and stroking and always maintain eye contact. It is best to sit on the floor or on the bed for this one.
- Get some juicy fruit – strawberries – mango – apricots. Set a romantic scene and dim the lights. The mango, for instance, with its deep orange colour, flowing juices, and sensual, fleshy texture, irresistibly evokes erotic images. Peel and cut the fruit into small pieces. Wait until his appetite is keen so his senses of smell and taste have increased. Ask him to close his eyes so he cannot see what you are popping into his mouth, and to focus his attention purely on the fragrance and taste of the fruits. Let him smell the fruits first before feeding him the delicious morsels piece by piece. He should take time to absorb their individual tastes, letting their sweetness melt in his mouth. He can lick their flavours from your fingers just as you can kiss away the juices from his lips………………
- Use this special time to have a bath or shower together. Make sure that you are totally undisturbed. Get some really gorgeous bath gel or bubble bath. Light some candles with fragrance if you like. Make sure you have large warm fluffy towels at the ready and that the room is warm and cosy. After your water play – go to the bedroom which is lit by one candle or low light, to dry each other off and really take your time doing this. Dry in between each others toes and giggle as you tickle. Smooth some talc or massage oil onto each other really slowly………………..
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