I have to say that in my opinion a marriage can survive infidelity. But be warned, it is not easy, it hurts more than you can imagine, but you can survive & your marriage will be stronger when you emerge at the other end.
Of course, the first thing you have to decide is whether you want to save your marriage. Is this instance of infidelity just the last in a long string? Have you reached the point where you just don’t care anymore? Do you feel as if you have nothing left to give? Have you run out of forgiveness & hope? Do you feel indifferent? If you have answered yes to these questions you may be at the point of no return in your marriage, indifference is a strong sign that your marriage is over. Whether to stay married or get divorced is a decision only you can make.
Once you have made the decision to stay married, the first stage of surviving infidelity is communication. You have to understand what caused the infidelity in the first place. Once you understand the causes you can start the long process of changing your relationship to improve it. If you experience difficulty in talking about your problems you should consider getting some relationship help & advice. You should both attend any counselling sessions that you arrange; the councillor will not solve your problems for you but rather, will help you to solve them yourselves. You can get online relationship help & advice if this appeals to you more than attending counselling sessions.
During this discovery period you will experience a whole range of emotions, starting with, among others, feelings of anger, hurt, guilt, shame, resentment, jealousy & mistrust. It is vitally important that you both learn to talk to each other openly about these feelings. Only with time, patience & understanding can you end up with feelings of forgiveness, trust & a deeper love than you had before.
Marriage can survive infidelity but only if both partners are willing to invest the time & commitment required.
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